Relationship red flags usually differ with individuals. Some have a long list while others keep it simple and precise. However, there are some red flags that are generic to every relationship and should be avoided at all costs. Not all relationships make life easier or better, some relationships are not good for you. Such a relationship may damage your well-being and be toxic to your mental health.
A relationship is expected to bring peace of mind, comfort, and large doses of love to you and your partner. When it turns the other way around, it is time to ask questions, be careful, and set things straight. Your well-being is important and should not decline for the sake of your relationship. Let’s dive into some warning signs you need to take note of as you progress in your relationship.
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Every relationship requires trust to stay healthy. One of the major signs that you are in an unstable relationship is when your partner doubts your every move. There can be doubts which will be excused but this should not deter trust in your partner.
When trust in a relationship is gone, feelings of abandonment, anger, and regret may arise. This lack of trust can affect your relationship at its very core and your well-being, too. It is important that you take note of the warning signs and treat them accordingly or move out of the relationship if the situation is beyond you.
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These are clear red flags that you must avoid at all costs in your relationship. It indicates that the person struggles with impulse control and embodies self-destructive habits. Where addiction is present, any relationship can become toxic. The individual may also become defensive or aggressive which makes effective communication difficult. Additionally, substance abuse can cause a significant financial strain on your relationship. Addictions can be expensive to fund, and the individual may prioritize the purchase of their substance over their financial responsibilities.
It is best to encourage such a person to seek help from the Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration. This should be done immediately to avoid any escalation and you should keep your distance while rendering any help.
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Any form of relationship abuse is an absolute deal-breaker and a red flag. Physical abuse in the form of assault, battery, and other forms of physical confrontation on your body is easy to detect and be walked away from.
However, emotional and mental abuse may not be as easy to detect and could have severe damage in the long run. With emotional or mental abuse, you may experience confusion, anxiety, shame, guilt, or powerlessness. If you stay in too long, you may begin to lose your sense of identity and doubt your self-worth. At this point, it may become difficult for you to let go. You must be careful to not get to this point in your relationship and let go once you notice the insistent red flags.
Mental and Emotional abuse can cause PTSD and other forms of internal damage which might take a longer time to get rid of.
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Narcissism is a mental condition that reveals self-obsession and a mislaid sense of importance in a person. When your partner is a narcissist, it can come with a highly delusional level of importance which is very different from confidence.
They struggle to trust other people and feel unsure of themselves when they do not have their way. This can lead to communication problems in your relationship and unhealthy patterns. They believe that the world revolves around them and give no room to anyone who threatens to go against their beliefs. Simply put, their needs will always come before yours if they ever consider it!
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This is the ability to decipher and manage emotions of one another. People with a low level of emotional intelligence may be unable to pick up their feelings or be empathetic. They may seem detached and experience difficulty displaying their emotions. They seem out of touch with themselves and are unaware of the emotional sensations which their body exudes.
On the flip side, when they do express emotions, it becomes intense and overwhelming. They may experience anxiety and intense anger which triggers experiences such as sadness and fear. You begin to doubt yourself and the display of your emotions when you have a partner who lacks emotional intelligence. This may lead to endless conflicts and constant manipulation.
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Anger can also be defined as rage which is a fit of violent wrath or antagonism by a person. Where anger goes across the board and beyond control, it can lead to physical, emotional, or verbal abuse which may cause harm to you.
You may feel threatened or unsafe during a conflict by your partner’s anger management issues. Where your partner has no control over their emotions, it is a clear indication of a red flag.
When your partner tries to repress their anger, it can lead to physical results in their body and become an explosive outburst when it is finally released. You should be comfortable enough to discuss issues with your partner without any fear for your safety.
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Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic of a partner who has a red flag you should certainly avoid. It is a form of emotional abuse where your partner makes you question your sanity or judgments always.
One of the stages of gaslighting in a relationship involves love bombing where the individual who gaslights overwhelms you with expressions of love and forms deep emotional attachments with you in such a way you may ignore all the red flags and view their abusive nature as loving. As a result, your weakened sense of self, guardedness, and mistrust of those outside of the relationship can cause you to depend on your partner solely. When you are constantly made to feel guilty regardless of whether you did wrong or not, your partner may be gaslighting you and you have been blind to it.
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One way to know that there is a lack of trust in your relationship is the evidence of extreme jealousy. It could be that your partner does not interest you or is just insecure which in turn might make you feel bad about yourself and your relationship.
Jealousy may lead to resentment and unnecessary defense. You will begin to experience more arguments as your jealous partner makes unreasonable demands and constantly questions your movement. There is also sexual jealousy which makes sexual intimacy between you and your partner difficult. This can make your relationship with your partner toxic and you begin to feel drained by your partner. You deal with their baseless accusations and start to drift away from your partner.
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People-pleasing or sycophantic tendencies can be one of the red flags that you may overlook in your relationship. If your partner constantly bends over backward to keep you happy in all aspects of your life. A people-pleaser may be the person everyone considers as kind and considerate. However, where the major motivation for being kind is to solely please people and not get in their black books, it becomes a problem. There must be a balance between what others need and what your partner needs. Your relationship may lack genuine interaction because you barely know what your partner wants or needs.
Underneath the love and care, your partner may be afraid to speak up for themselves and harbor low self-esteem while constantly seeking validation from others. You might not get to know them truly if all they do is live to please others.
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When your partner does not trust your decisions and tries to take charge of everything going on in your life and the relationship, that is a sign that you are with a controlling person and part of the red flags. Toxicity can be fueled by controlling the behavior of your partner in your relationship. This toxicity may make you feel unsupported and attacked and threaten your mental, emotional, or physical well-being. Your self-confidence may also decrease over time. This behavior not only affects you but affects others around you who are outside of your relationship.
If your partner limits your social interactions, constantly doubts and monitors your movements, and keeps you away from family and loved ones, it is a huge concern that you need to checkmate.
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There are bound to be imperfections and areas for improvement in any relationship. Not all relationships are perfect and require conversations or other measures to be dealt with. However, no relationship should cause more harm than good. You must deal with them tactfully, and honestly while prioritizing your self-care.
